British Military Fitness – Why Am I Doing This?

Basically, I do a lot of things. According to some people, far too many things, but sod that. What’s the point in waking up in the morning if you’re not going to cram as many awesome things as possible into the next 24 hours?

Regular things I like to do include weightlifting, parkour, climbing, Zen, contact juggling and eating meatfood. Things I like to avoid include moderation, sleep, ironing and recovery.

I currently have a shoulder injury that’s preventing me from doing a lot of things, including parkour classes. So this week I decided to have a go at British Military Fitness Running Club at Hampstead Heath to fill that void.

Approaching strangers in vans is totally fine in BMF! Everything will be okay!










Trip Report: BMF Running Club

Do you like standing in lines? Following basic instructions? Approaching strangers in vans? Running frantically after some guy in camo gear? Then this is definitely for you!

We started off by forming into ranks. Apparently. I pretty much just stood still and stared blankly since I’m not 100% sure what the guy meant. We were then split into three groups, with me being defaulted into the lowest on the grounds that I’m a n00b and don’t really run much. Fair enough. Then it was go time!

The first rule of BMF run club is you do not talk about BMF run club.

The second rule of BMF run club is FOLLOW THAT ARMY GUY!

The hour basically consisted of chasing after Army Guy (he may or may not have told me his name, but if he’s going to run around wearing camo, I’m going to call him Army Guy). When you catch up to Army Guy, he yells “well done” at you and tells you to run loops, or up and down a small hill, or to the back of the pack until everyone else has caught up. Awesome. Since it was bucketing down rain, I got to smash my way happily but inefficiently through flooded paths and liquid mud.

Could I run around Hampstead Heath without chasing a total stranger who used to be in the army or something? Probably. However, I feel like I need to regularly be in a group training environment in which someone in charge gives firm, and preferably quite loud, instructions to carry out simple but tiring physical activities. Without that, I get incredibly miserable for some bizarre reason. So in the absence of my usual parkour classes, I suppose I’ll be back at Hampstead Heath next week.


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